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The third noble truth expresses the idea that suffering can be ended by attaining dispassion. Nirodha extinguishes all forms of clinging and attachment.

I can’t say that at 19 things didn’t seem to be falling apart, it’s just now when I look back at then and I look at now, the notion of falling apart seems worlds apart.

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My First Noble Truth

I remember reading Pema Chodren’s book When Things Fall Apart when I was 19. I was heavy into my Buddhist studies and practices, and at that time her book was at the top of the must read list. At 19 what did I know about things falling apart? As children and young adults we are so overly egocentric that everything happening seems larger than it is, or that we are the only ones who’ve ever had any of this happen to. So, I can’t say that at 19 things didn’t seem to be falling apart, it’s just now when I look back at then and I look at now, the notion of falling apart seems worlds apart.

Life is great (that’s the first Noble Truth for me). As a great life we don’t have to fix anything. If life is inherently suffering, well then, you’ve got to relieve that suffering. Otherwise you will always be suffering. If life’s an error, an illusion or a mistake then you have to transcend, escape or transmute the state your in, in order to achieve liberation. You have to be liberated from something into something. Which leaves the question, where do you go when you achieve this liberation? This is why life is not the problem. Life is great.

So when I look at things falling apart, and my tendency is to fix them, I’m beginning to wonder whether that’s what I’m supposed to do? If I’m here to fix life then I have to understand what’s broken and look at repairing that. If life is great, then I have to see how I’m not being myself and then shift myself back into the optimal me. But it still seems like I’m always trying to make something better. When Things Fall Apart is actually not describing life, but prescribing life in its title. A Buddhist believes that life is impermanent and everything is in a constant play of joining and parting. When you understand that things “fall apart” you see life’s impermanence, and therefore cease clinging to these things. Really, it’s not bad advice. There is a time in our lives when we need to loosen the grip, expand our perspective, and stop dwelling in the predicament.

Yet, at the same time those things rejoin, right? The yoga is in the rejoining, not just that things fall apart and rejoin, but in how you make the relationship between them. All of a sudden, I realize that my life is always falling apart. It’s a hard life. It’s a challenging life. But at the same time, it is always joining together. It’s a simple, enjoyable life too. Instead of spending my time trying to fix what’s falling apart, which is impossible, I just remember to be me. In fact, our lives’ fall apart when we forget who we are and act in that forgetfulness. Many times things fall apart because we are so busy trying to keep things together. Kind of ironic, huh.

My life is no more or less challenging than yours. In fact, I am sure we all live under the same normal amount of stresses that comes in waves. My life may appear more or less stressful than yours right now, but I am sure that will switch at some point and balance out. So, we’re all in the same boat, which is happening to be falling apart right now, but let’s make the choice together to see the falling apart as just as great as the joining together. Your life is great not because you achieve a state, but because you can always be yourself in whatever event is happening.