Day 3 - Vanity
Okay, let’s be clear what’s inspiring me most to start this is purely vanity. A lot of you may have met me or remember me as some skinny, little, bendy punk, which I was, but I was also young. My body was still more boyish than manly. But now in my early 30’s (okay enough remarks that I’m not old - I’m not saying I’m old), my body has changed - a lot. I’m no longer that skinny punk that bends at will. I’ve got some mass, in fact 30 pounds more than when I was in my early 20’s. I’m not saying I would trade bodies, because I feel and look healthier than I did back then, but I wouldn’t mind losing a few (if you know what I mean). So more than anything I am motivated for probably the same reason the majority of students who come to class are - to look good.
Now, I’m not saying that I equate yoga as fitness (nor am I saying I don’t). I think yoga as my life is so much more than a good physical physique. If it weren’t for yoga, my mind and heart would be an uncarved block of wood, but with yoga I feel like I am carving my life to be a beautiful piece of art. You won’t hear me say, “I didn’t get to do yoga today,” (referring to not getting on the mat) because I feel every moment of my life I’m doing yoga. But right now, I’m getting on my mat - whether I want to or not because I don’t feel as great in my body, my weight or even my asanas, and that I’d like to change that, and I can.
Day 3, I didn’t want to get on my mat, but I did. I wasn’t as focused, but I still did it. I did my Backbends DVD with some modifications. I felt good, but I notice that I am still engaging with my mat like it is both an obligation (not my desire) and taking away from other things, again I realize those “things” are nothing important but just keeping busy. I will say that the physical transformations I think are starting off as the easiest. Maybe because it happens for a limited period of time under focused conditions, where as speech is always, emotions are hard to keep under control and food is so social. Anyway, I find myself understanding more when my teacher would complain that he didn’t have the same body from when he was 25.
